A Most interesting experience

Today was a first for me in this culture.  After 3 years, I don't have many firsts anymore.  But today we finally had another interesting experience. 

Last Saturday we had all the girls on our team over to watch the Royal Wedding.  We were all occupied making our own crowns and talking about the hats and pomp while Rob was diligently working upstairs.  Hudson had 3 friends over at the house playing basketball and other crazy games.  It was a very good day. On Sunday morning we woke up and were getting ready to take a trip and Hannah began frantically looking for her ipod.  We told her the normal "parent things" like "did you look behind things?" or "where did you use it last?" "when you say you have looked EVERYWHERE what does that mean exactly?"

Hannah is a very careful, responsible girl.  She is extremely organized and meticulously careful with her things. (I will add that this is not a trait passed down from me)  Hannah knew she had used it on Friday during school.....it is hard to do your math when your brother is breathing beside you.....and then she had placed it back on her dresser by her stereo system.  Suddenly the thought occured to me.....one of Hudson's friends stole it.  Rob quickly said "no way" to that, but I couldn't think of what else had happened to it.   Hannah very graciously accepted that it was gone and that it was just "stuff" and not the end of the world.

On Monday, 2 of the 3 boys returned to our house to play.  I casually mentioned, not accusing, that Hudson's sister couldn't find her ipod, had they happened to see it on Saturday.  They said no.  Then on Wednesday, Hudson's buddy, Kenny, called to Hudson and said he needed to talk to us.  He came upstairs and said he knew where the ipod was, one of the boys had stolen it. The boy was showing it off at school that day. But....Kenny had a plan.  The boy who stole it didn't want Kenny to tell Hudson about it, but he said Hudson was his friend and he should give it back. So Kenny came up with a plan and told Rob and I he would get it back today and the boy wouldn't lose face.

Now, here is the interesting part of this culture.  "Face" is everything.  In my mind, once I knew who took the ipod, it seemed ok for me to walk to the boy's door, ask to speak to the parents and get the ipod back. Simple.  However, in the process I would have humiliated the boy, the parents, likely broken relationship with them,  and it would have been culturally inappropriate.  So, Rob said we should instead trust Hudson's friends and see what would happen.  Today, after school, all the boys came back over and asked to play ball. As the thief passed by us, Kenny pointed him out and whispered to us the thief had brought the ipod.  A few minutes later out comes Kenny telling me to stay in the kitchen and for Rob to come help me in the kitchen while the return took place.  Shortly after, Kenny reported the ipod was hiding under a blanket on Hudson's bed.  Sure enough.....it was.

I don't think we ever expected to see the ipod again, but here it is.  More importantly we didn't alienate a little boy and his family, hopefully we can continue to build relationships with them. It sure wouldn't be worth "being right" just because of an ipod.